Waxing Esoteric

There’s this rush that comes with writing, one that comes when you least expect it.  You’ll be struggling through a section, and everything you write sounds cheesy and unrealistic.  Then, suddenly, you begin to see what you’re writing, see the characters and feel the emotion that they do, and it becomes kind of magical.  You feel like they’re real, even if their zombies or Tralfamadorians or fairies from another dimension.  And it feels you with this euphoria that really can’t be matched.

When I write, I have a playlist for each book, depending on the mood.  And every now and then, there is a truly sublime moment where a particular song is so insanely suited for the scene I am writing that I have to stop a moment to catch my breath.  It’s a beautiful thing.

Famous Blue Raincoat 5:10 Leonard Cohen The Best Of Rock 2 6/9/09 12:06 PM

Neighborhood #3 (Power Out) 5:15 Arcade Fire Funeral Alternative 2 6/9/09 12:11 PM

The Killing Moon 5:47 Echo and the Bunnymen Soundtrack 9 6/9/09 12:17 PM

The Sick Bed Of Cuchulainn 2:59 The Pogues Rum Sodomy & the Lash 1 6/9/09 12:20 PM

Banquet 3:21 Bloc Party Silent Alarm Indie 14 6/9/09 12:23 PM

Sand And Foam 3:20 Donovan Troubadour: The Definitive Collection 1964-1976 [Disc 1] Rock 3 6/9/09 12:26 PM

Fitzcarraldo 6:09 The Frames Fitzcarraldo Alternative 13 3/15/09 2:07 PM

Eli, The Barrow Boy 3:11 The Decemberists Picaresque Indie

O’ Sailor 5:36 Fiona Apple Extraordinary Machine Rock

Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!! 29:59 Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!! 20 2 2/8/09 3:01 PM

For Reasons Unknown 3:32 The Killers Sam’s Town Rock 15 6/9/09 11:35 AM

NYC 4:20 Interpol Turn On The Bright Lights Alternative & Punk 8 3/11/09 12:55 PM

Stop Me 3:58 Mark Ronson Feat. Daniel Merriweather Version Electronica/Dance 14 3/11/09 12:33 PM

Digging In The Dirt 5:18 Peter Gabriel Us Rock 1 6/9/09 11:55 AM

Obstacle 1 4:11 Interpol Turn On The Bright Lights Alternative & Punk 21 6/9/09 11:46 AM

The Stars Are Underground 3:11 The Frames Dance The Devil… Alternative & Punk 4 8/10/08 1:00 PM

The Sun Also Sets 4:11 Ryan Adams Easy Tiger Country 4 6/9/09 11:31 AM

Blue In The Face 3:02 Alkaline Trio Good Mourning Alternative & Punk 16 6/9/09 11:58 AM

No I in Threesome 3:55 Interpol Our Love To Admire 9 3/11/09 12:37 PM

(Nothing But) Flowers 5:32 Talking Heads Sand in the Vaseline Rock 1

Sisters Of Mercy 3:36 Leonard Cohen The Best Of Rock 1 3/29/08 9:20 AM

She Runs Away 3:44 Duncan Sheik Duncan Sheik Pop 1 3/15/09 2:11 PM

So Long, Marianne 5:41 Leonard Cohen The Best Of Rock

Cold Water 4:59 Damien Rice O Rock 4 3/11/09 12:29 PM

Since I Told You It’s Over 4:43 Stereophonics You Gotta Go There To Come Back Alternative & Punk 11 3/13/09 1:57 PM

Star Star** 3:58 The Frames Dance The Devil… Alternative & Punk 6 3/11/09 12:08 PM

Say it to Me Now 2:35 Glen Hansard Once Original Soundtrack Soundtrack 4 6/9/09 12:00 PM

Hunting For Witches 3:31 Bloc Party A Weekend In The City Alternative & Punk 17 6/9/09 11:38 AM

Invincible 5:00 Muse Black Holes and Revelations Rock 20 1/17/09 11:04 AM

Dashboard 4:08 Modest Mouse We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank Alternative & Punk 6 3/11/09 12:51 PM

I Know 4:56 Fiona Apple When The Pawn… Alternative & Punk 4 3/11/09 12:47 PM

Two-Headed Boy 4:26 Neutral Milk Hotel In The Aeroplane Over The Sea Alternative & Punk 1 3/13/09 3:17 PM

Twist The Knife 2:34 Neko Case Furnace Room Lullaby Country

Munich 3:46 Editors The Back Room Indie 8 6/9/09 11:42 AM

Happiness Runs 3:28 Donovan Troubadour: The Definitive Collection 1964-1976 [Disc 2] Rock

Pioneer to the Falls 5:46 Interpol Our Love To Admire 7 3/11/09 12:24 PM

I sponsor a group at my school for Schools for Schools, a division of Invisible Children.  We are currently collecting donations for Awere Secondary School in Uganda.  If you feel generous, you can donate to our chapter through our school’s website.  Anything is appreciated.

Teaching over the years (all three of them) has allowed me to get paid for one of my favorite hobbies – people watching.  So, without further ado, I bring you the most interesting species of the modern teenager.

1. The Over-Sharer

    This is the kid who is in your class for less than a week before they start telling you about their home-life, their sex life, their drug use, basically anything you JUST DON’T WANT TO KNOW.  Typically, these conversations are not initiated by either party, nor are they even conversations.  You will be standing at the door of your classroom welcoming your students, when little Suzy bounces up and tells you that her boyfriend got arrested for statutory rape.  You stare, wide-eyed, as she relates the tale, and then hops back to her seat without so much as a pause for reaction.  Your reaction doesn’t matter.  She just wants everyone to know.

2. The Kid Who Thinks He’s Different Because He Listens to ICP.

   I get one of these in every single class, without fail.  They think that they’re hard-core, that they’re scary, that everyone thinks that he or she is mysterious because they are “juggalos.”  One of the joys of my life is the look on their faces when they realize that not only do I know who ICP are, I also know that they are far from anything to be scared of.  I wonder if these kids, like so many I knew in high school, will eventually grow out of the ICP phase and actually listen to decent music.  More than likely, they will end up like those guys who still have the Hatchetman logo on their cars at the age of 30.

4. The One You Totally Misread

    Teachers judge students.  We all know it happens.  The unfortunate part is that most of the time, we’re right, be it from self-fulfilling prophecy or whatever.  But once in a while, you get a student who you had totally pegged for a bad, lazy kid, who turns out to really be misunderstood.  Not misunderstood in a Hallmark “oh, you thought I was a bad kid cuz I’m black” way, but in a very real way, when you realize that they’re not lazy, they need help.  They’re not mean, they’re bullied.  They’re not hopeless, they just needed the encouragement.  What breaks my heart is to see these kids out in the hallways getting written up on referrals because the teacher couldn’t figure out how to deal with them.

4. The “Mr. So-and-So Let Us Do It” 

    When someone asks you if they can break the rules, and you say no, it is inevitable that someone will pipe up and say that another teacher let them do it – eat in class, listen to ipods, text, whatever.  And the truth is that most of the time, they aren’t lying.  Hell, I share my room with a guy who lets the kids eat candy and chips and they leave their goddamn wrappers and candy bits all over the floor and it DRIVES ME NUTS.   Does that mean that I’m going to start letting them do it?  Hell no.

Another year has begun and I find myself wondering where exactly the time went.  About 3 years ago I was finishing up my master’s, unsure about anything.  Now I’m a fairly awesome teacher who’s looking forward to the next step in her life.  I’m kind of intimidated to begin my PhD studies, but I know if I don’t start now, I’ll never get it done.